i often sneak into their beds while they sleep
and take photos of them.
their littleness is so prominent when they're quiet.
i make sure to get the details
and then i stop looking through the camera
and just stare at them with my soul eyes.
i notice how they're changing.
how their features are morphing into boy
and leaving baby behind.
i listen to their dreaming noises.
it has always been that way.
i say prayers over their little baby-boy-bodies
and make grand wishes on stars that i can't see.
i watch the light fall on their faces. fingers. and feet
and i try to take photographs in my mind-
images imprinted deep within the folds of my brain.
and then i snuggle them close to me.
as close as i can.
sometimes they wake for a moment and i sing them back to sleep.
favorite things or sunshine or somewhere over the rainbow
and sometimes i fall asleep with them
as i did yesterday
and i dream of dancing and rainstorms and giant puddles perfect for jumping.
they unlock a joy in me
a trove of innocence that i'm not sure i ever let out until they arrived.